Revive Your Valiant Warrior

Courage starts with showing up and letting ourselves be seen.
— Brene' Brown

Have you ever felt like staying in bed and pulling the covers over your head so you could hide from the world?

I confess this is exactly what I’ve done and more than once. It was my answer to escape what I thought was threatening me.  Something out there I just couldn’t bear dealing with.  The disappointing thing is, that my hiding didn’t bring me relief at all.  It only added fuel to the part of me that was feeling vulnerable & weak.

Avoiding or hiding from the things in Life that make me feel sad or uncomfortable has always led me to a sort of self-loathing and disconnect. Rather than experiencing relief, I found the energy of my feelings actually intensified under my denial.

Through my Coaching work with others, I’ve learned I am not alone in wrestling with this feeling of doubt.

Courage is defined as the ability to do something that frightens one.

Or the strength we demonstrate in the face of pain or grief. 

The next time you consider checking out ~why not make a decision to be seen and trust your Valiant Warrior to show up?

There have been times while acknowledging my fear or despondent heart, I chose to move forward. And though my actions may have appeared less than graceful . . . I survived.  

In fact, taking that shaky step forward empowered me and filled me with self-respect. When you find yourself getting called to the front lines of your own battle, you are at a turning point of decision.

You can either forge forward to experience Victory or hide in the trees, living in regret. 

There is a Valiant Warrior in each of us. It is our brave fighter who demonstrates our strength and determination. It is our true grit, the keeper of our moxie. Let’s celebrate together the glory of our courage!  

Ponder This:  
When have you been empowered by stepping forward rather than running?

If you so choose, please share your experience in the comments below!

Stuck in the Solution

Jani McCarty Rainbow Provo UT
Unhappiness is not a sin; it is an opportunity to be truthful and to heal.
— Robert Holden

Let’s just think about that for a moment. A common belief for many is that if we are unhappy ~ there is surely something wrong with us.

Or we have the belief that living unhappily is a place of exile where we’ve been forced to exist. We are victims. Someone, something, some situation or circumstance has robbed us of our ability to be happy.

At the very least we think this lonely wretched place is our punishment for somehow not knowing or Being enough!

Poppycock!

What if this way of thinking ~ this perpetuated belief ~ simply wasn’t true?

In my Life whenever I’ve felt unhappy, I was usually stuck in thinking about the past & hung up on the “if only’s” and “poor me’s”. I was fixed in a pattern of blaming something outside of me for my emotional state.  

It wasn’t until I got sick & tired of being sick & tired, that I became open to seeing the true source of my unhappiness.

The cool thing is that when I was open, I could also be honest. 

“And the truth shall set you free.”

By letting go of my hold on my negative beliefs that made me feel powerless, I stopped holding others responsible for my feelings. 

PONDER THIS: 

When has your awareness of Being unhappy been the key to unlocking your solution?

Presence, Purpose, & Peace

Peace BBI
Do your little bit of good where you are; it’s those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world.
— Desmond Tutu

HAPPY NEW YEAR! Many of my colleagues and friends have offered creative and helpful suggestions and steps to success in the New Year.  Others have provided tools and systems to assist us in finding happiness in 2016. I can find something of value in each one of them. 

When I contemplated what value I could bring to 2016, I was reminded of a life changing concept I learned back in 1988 during my first year of sobriety: 

Live one day at a time! And in this day give our best in presence, purpose, and peace.

Presence means showing up in the now. Giving focused attention to whatever is here for us in this moment. 

Purpose is demonstrated in the direction and the dedication of how we make our contribution.

Peace can be shared in the harmonious energy we reveal. Patience, compassion, Love.

Together, let’s “Celebrate” this first day of 2016!

Ponder This:

How can you Celebrate the peace of the present moment with each interaction in your current situation today?

The Fortune in Friendship

jani mccarty
Each friend represents a world in us, a world not born until they arrive; and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born!​
— Anais Nin

Isn’t it amazing how with over 7 billion people on planet Earth we can all come together on a single shared journey? Along the way, we are fortunate to cross paths with those special people we call friends. Can you think of a friend who has brought fortune into your Life?

As I reflect upon my Life, I see that my experiences have been enriched by the people I’ve met along the way. 

One of my childhood friendships spans over 55 years of memories, shared adventures, & Life events. From kindergarten to becoming Grandmothers, my friend & I continue to celebrate our bond of mutual affection! We know a world that birthed our mischievous antics as kids, as well as, our love affair with horses. 

There were those special friends who navigated high school with me. Through the challenges of adolescence and the adventures of defining ourselves with our place in the world, we thought we were lost.

It is the serendipity of friendships that stimulate a new culture within us. 

The sub-culture of college in the 70’s was a new world. I believe it was one of the most exciting & revolutionary periods of our history. With the influence & encouragement of friends, I leapt blindly into taking risks to experience Life with a fierce new resolve! We rocked the world together rallying to support a cause or nursing a cure.

Each of my friends represents a new world of fortune within me. Each fortune I have received has been unique & priceless. 

Probably one of the greatest fortunes I have experienced are the friendships born on my path of sobriety. The world of recovery is a common arena where unlikely companions find support & new hope for their destiny. It is “living in the solution” with others that truly makes the difference.

And in recent years, I recognize those friends who have met me in grief. As we support & allow each other to experience loss & then acceptance, together we find promise of a new world. . .

PONDER THIS:

Can you think of a friend who has brought fortune into your Life?

Please share your thoughts in the comment section below.

Cultivate Personal Peace

Personal Peace Jani McCarty
When we love ourselves, we don’t hurt ourselves and we don’t hurt other people.
— Louise Hay

Whether these words hit home on a personal level or are far reaching in a global perspective, Louise Hay’s message is clear & powerful.  

The recent tragic events in Paris have annihilated our sense of safety and our ability to comprehend such darkness.  We look out there to our humanity in disbelief & fear while we struggle for answers. How can we end this madness? What can one person possibly do?

For some, the impending Thanksgiving holiday generates a similar trigger of restlessness, sadness, or anxiety. Both of these events can contribute to that disconnected place where we feel powerless.

We may find ourselves straddling between thoughts of oppressive holidays in the past and anticipating what this years’ gathering might hold. Our focus is out of whack ~ out of alignment.

In dealing with any disturbing or uncomfortable experience, each of us has the power to make a difference. The peace & charity we want in our lives & in our world begins with loving & accepting what is…  

When we treat ourselves with Love & kindness, we can demonstrate compassion to the world.

When we let go of judging ourselves from our limiting beliefs, we can practice allowing others to be who they are.

When we let go of unrealistic expectations of ourselves & others, we find a peaceful presence to experience the gifts of the moment.

When we acknowledge our feelings as they surface, the intensity of their energy can dissipate & move out. We can trust ourselves & our awareness.

When we let go of our resentment, we become willing to forgive. 

And when we forgive ourselves & others, we can celebrate the freedom that comes from Love & acceptance.

Ponder This:

What are you willing to let go of to cultivate your personal peace?

Please share your thoughts in the comment section below.