Downward Facing Horse

Downward Facing Horse

Determination gives you the resolve to keep going
in spite of the roadblocks that lay before you.
— Denis Waitley

My new horse Milo has many wonderful qualities. He has a gentle pleasing nature, is sweet and laid back. Unless of course he’s hungry, which he seems to be much of the time. Then he is extremely motivated and driven by his quest for food.

He develops a fierce determination to procure his next snack. Milo can sniff out treats from across the paddock and will contort his body beyond comprehension just to reach a tasty blade of grass.

Nothing that stands in his way appears to break his determination or shrink his enthusiasm for the worthy prize he seeks.

Although I may feel a bit uneasy while observing his antics, I do appreciate his focus and perseverance. I’d like to get after him while at the same time, he amuses me with the relentless clarity of his mission.

And then I ask myself, where and when in my Life have I been so determined?

Determination can be defined as firmness of purpose, a solid commitment.

What have I desired so deeply that my efforts never wavered even as boulder-sized challenges loomed on my path?

I believe whatever success we have in “staying our course”, comes from acknowledging with absolute clarity ~ what we truly want.  

Over 30 years ago, I knew I wanted my Life to change. I knew I wanted to end my suffering. I wanted to be free from the insanity of drinking and drugging to cope with my feelings, to cope with my Life!

Thru an intervention and with a surrendered heart, I found my way to Alcoholics Anonymous, to the Big Book, the Steps, and to the fellowship.

From Chapter 5 HOW IT WORKS - rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path…. If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it-then you are ready to take certain steps…

Just as Milo greets each day with renewed efforts to reach those grassy patches, I focus daily on making choices and taking action that honors my commitment to live happy, joyous, and free.

PONDER THIS:

 Where in your Life does your determination reward you with what you want?


Be Here Now

be here.jpg

BE HERE NOW

Ram Dass

‘NOW’ is where you get to leave your ego behind
and meet your whole Self
— Robert Holden

It’s been several weeks since I took a nasty fall from my new horse Milo. We were riding out on the road when Milo spooked at our neighbor as he rounded the fence with his lawn mower. Although the accident seemed spontaneous, when I relive it from my heart-sight, it plays out in sequential slow motion.

After six hours at the ER the x-rays and CAT-scan confirmed closed fractures of my lumbar 1, 2, & 3 vertebra, a rib fracture, and of course, multiple abrasions.

The most obvious gift from this experience has been the reminder to Be Here Now, to live in the present moment, to be conscious and accepting of Life as it is!

This is what I learned about grace and healing…

Gratitude can ground me from moment to moment and allow me to experience physical pain without resisting it. Gratitude gives me permission to feel my other feelings, including the deep sadness I felt for the first 3 days. Gratitude reminds me to keep my focus on healing and acknowledge the progress I make each day.

Empathy and compassion encourage me to be kind, loving, and accepting. They allow me to be free from my need to blame or feel sorry for myself. Empathy and compassion connect me with others who struggle too, with a personal set back, a chronic illness, or an overwhelming challenge.

Self-Care becomes the sole priority in order to function and get through the day. It teaches me that listening to what my body needs is the only important voice in my head. Beyond my imagination, self-care dispels my fear and manifests healing miracles.

My judgement fell away and took with it, my need to define myself by my accomplishments. The stress I create to keep up and to perform, dissolved. I released the focus I had on competing for outside attention.

When I let go of fueling my critical monkey mind, a new appreciation surfaced- a deep more loving connection with my whole self.

Living consciously transcends me and my awareness to a different plane. Time dances with a new rhythm. In the present, I could allow myself to honor my objective observer. I witness in awe, the power my body has to heal itself!

I’ve learned that pain is the great leveler. It abruptly slices through our reality and rattles our perception. It eliminates our preoccupation with the past and annihilates any value we might give to future thinking.

Pain can shatter dreams while offering clarity and connection. It can humbly bring us to our knees and at the same time - direct us to find a new way home…

Today I am happy to share that I feel strong and healthy. I know now, how to proceed with training and developing my relationship with Milo.

I trust my body to continue to mend those physical and emotional parts of me that were wounded. I remain committed to living in a state of gratitude. I practice empathy and compassion with myself (first), and with others.

And Self-care? It is just that!

Self-care means nurturing the connection we have with our inner wisdom and that still small voice that is forever untouched and unlimited in the now!   

PONDER THIS:

What have you experienced where pain shattered a dream yet brought you clarity and connection?

 

 

Shine On Sister

Shine On Sister

There is nothing so powerful as a woman who knows her worth
and revels in the wild magic that glows within her.
— Denise Linn

In yoga practice, Allan invited us to listen for our intention. I centered joyfully to repeat my mantra:  I flow freely without judgement…

I experienced a deep sense of contentment as the energy of my body clearly aligned with my mantra. I flow freely without judgement…

 In my Life there have been many moments where I have flowed freely. And over the years there have been times, perhaps not as often, when I truly experienced Life without judging myself or others.

 So to root down deeply in the flow of Life, void of any lingering sense of judgement, is a true freedom worth celebrating!

 My focus word for 2019 is “expansion.” The past four months, I’ve been diligently honest, open-minded and willing to actively embrace whatever Life has offered me in support of that.

 My expansion started in January with the 4th annual Women Creating Our Futures conference held in Lone Tree Colorado. After three years of looking at it and wanting to go, I went his year. Inspired and motivated, I committed to an intensive weekly MasterMind for the next three months.

It was a valuable transformational journey led by two inspiring, authentic, passionate women, Cynthia James and Jean Hendry. The exercises were stimulating and extremely challenging. The camaraderie of the group further supported me in clarifying what is truly important to me in my Life.

I learned to acknowledge and honor my own brilliance, my “spirit spark” and to reinvest in my unique contribution!

I learned choosing to grow can be the ultimate adventure when you travel with trusted leaders and a safe sacred tribe.

What I want you to know is by being willing and committed to examine my Life, to ask myself the really hard questions, and to shine outside the parameters of my conditioning, I am able to flow freely without judgement. I am free to celebrate my Life! 

And I know this to be true for all of us…

My Brilliance Statement

I am a spiritual Being courageously, enthusiastically, illuminating
Beauty, Joy, and Love in the world!

 by Being a loyal playful friend,
a fair assertive leader,
an inspiring authentic teacher, and
an intuitive, compassionate, empathetic coach,

 I empower others to reconnect with themselves
and to Celebrate their Life!

NATURE’S LIFE SUPPORT

NATURE’S LIFE SUPPORT

There is a force in the Universe, which if we
permit it,
will flow through us and produce
miraculous results.
— Ghandi

Yesterday I took my daughter’s dog, Ali May, out for a walk in the woods. It was a bit nippy yet the promise of Spring shown through the breaks in the tree cover and welcomed us as we found a path, mostly free of snow…

As is true every time I intentionally connect with nature, my body felt strong and healthy, my senses were alert and my heart opened to take it all in.

As we picked our way through fallen tree branches and still snowy and icy patches, my breath deepened and my outside thoughts… quieted.

 The woods have a vibrational rhythm of their own. 

The aroma of the wet earth filled my nostrils with a delicious mix of soggy pine needles and new undergrowth. It made my mouth water.

The deer herd was gracious and trusting as we moved quietly along their Winter paths, careful to leave as little imprint as possible.

Ali and I paused often to breathe in our surroundings. We observed how the ground squirrels flitted about with their usual enthusiasm, excited for a new day of adventure.

The birds kept watch over us, the Ravens squawking when we approached and others singing to us sweetly as we made our way.

We stopped in surprise as several geese flew overhead repeating their powerful woohoov, woohoov sound with their wings.

Everywhere I looked Winter’s dormant world was awakening with the birth of new Life and movement. This shift was embraced and accepted naturally without judgement or restraint. I thought about how we, like Nature, follow the cycle of the seasons as well.

I reflected upon my Winter hibernation. Feeling safe and sheltered from the cold and dark, I had hunkered down in my introspection. When I let go of my resistance, I could see the parts of me that had served their purpose.

I experienced the dying off and the passing of an old season within.

Ali and I stood at a fork in the trees. She was content to sniff an interesting stump while I paused to breathe and reflect upon which direction to take.

Then I started to laugh! I couldn’t contain myself! My joy-full heart and this fork in our path reminded me of a Universal truth.

We are always free to choose the direction we take in Life. Every fork we encounter offers options for us to consider. When we listen with our heart, our highest way is always revealed, often as clearly, as the cadence of our step.

PONDER THIS:

What part of you does Nature support you to reveal?

 

 

 

My Handicap Miracle

My Handicap Miracle

3 lessons I learned from a fractured ankle…

Your living is determined not so much by what Life brings to you as by the attitude you bring to Life; not so much by what happens to you as by the way your mind looks at what happens.
— Kahlil Gibran

My word for 2019 is Expansion. When I set an intention and consistently focus on it, the Universal Law of Attraction rarely fails me. Though I’ve learned the delivery system can answer in such a way, that at times I miss seeing the gifts, clues, and lessons all together.

A couple of weeks ago Life gave me a huge opportunity to stretch myself and I didn’t even see it coming.

I was up at the ranch, eager to finish chores and feed the horses so I could head home to finish packing. My husband and I were leaving early in the morning for our trip to Cancun, Mexico. I’d actually packed most of my suitcase already which was a rare accomplishment for me. Seems I’m usually still stressing about what to take at the 11th hour.

As I bounded down the snow path to the barn my boots slid on the ice underneath. I flipped up, then landed hard. I could hear and feel a slight snap before excruciating pain ripped up my right leg.

Slumped over I held onto the rail of the fence, willing myself to breathe and assess what had just happened. There was no one there to help me and no one but me, was going to feed the horses and close the upper gate.

So I did just that. I could feel my boot growing tighter as I limped around the paddock, filled the Porta-Graziers with hay and then made my way back up through the pasture to close the gate.

Then I got into my car and drove the 30 minutes back to Evergreen. Many times I wanted to cry, but I didn’t. The only option I knew was to hold it together, get home, ice my ankle and get to the airport in the morning.

Probably the worst part of this whole experience was that day after. I  pushed my bruised, aching, swollen stump into a snow boot and then dragged myself through DIA to our gate. I propped my foot up on the back of the arm rest of the seat in front of me and slept for our 3 1/2 hour flight.

Next I stood and snail-ed forward for 90 minutes through customs in Cancun. My husband and I talked about a wheelchair while we watched several folks go to the front in the handicapped line.

Handicap is defined as…a circumstance that makes progress or success difficult, a condition that markedly restricts a person’s ability to function physically, mentally, or socially.

I certainly qualified, though identifying myself as such was a new concept.

In hindsight, I know I made the right decision to still go to Mexico in my altered state. The following morning our Concierge arranged for a trip to the ER at a downtown hospital, where I was treated with professionalism and care.

X-rays confirmed a small fracture and I returned to El Presidente and our vacation, wearing a heavy black boot and sporting crutches.  

Here are 3 Lessons I learned from my fractured ankle:

1)  I learned how moving more slowly offers a rich different perspective of a familiar experience.

Being handicapped -being limited in movement, awkward and obvious in my big black boot and maneuvering on crutches, I felt less than my usual self. I appreciated the attention and support people offered, yet I hesitated to actually ask for help. I experienced a true empathy for myself and for people who live in vulnerability at the mercy of others.

2)  I learned surrendering to my situation allowed me to really take care of myself and be present in my Life.

I spent a lot of time in our room. I turned off the air conditioning and enjoyed the warm breeze that accompanied me through the open door. I sat in a steady rolling desk chair which I used like a wheelchair to push myself around. In between writing and doing Mastermind homework, I took naps. Real siestas. I enjoyed practicing my Spanish with Adriana each morning when she came in to clean our room. And sometimes, I’d just sit quietly, look out over the ocean, and be still.

3)  I learned being grateful can attract and reveal miracles.

Many people, including my husband, truly want to help if I will just tell them how. The entire week, the staff at the hotel were graciously accommodating. The two men who pushed my wheelchair at the Cancun and Denver airports were kind, attentive, and skilled in their service.

On our way home I felt a kindred connection with all the other handicap travelers. I was even grateful for the heavy boot as it legitimized my right to move through the handicap line.

My healing has been remarkable since returning home. I am so grateful for the love, prayers, and support that continue to buoy my spirits and remind me that all is well.

When I reflect upon my experience, being handicapped was one lesson that taught me to be open and receptive to the everyday miracles of Life!

 

PONDER THIS:

What is one miracle you learned to recognize through personal trauma?