Flog No More

THE SLIGHT EDGE

“SIMPLE DISCIPLINES REPEATED OVER TIME WILL CREATE SUCCESS, WHILE, SIMPLE MISTAKES REPEATED OVER TIME WILL CREATE FAILURE.”

— JEFF OLSON

Recently, I started a cleanse to help me realign with my mindful eating. It took me six months to become willing to be present and honest with myself. I know what supports my body and I know that sugar and caffeine are just empty place holders.

Why then do I allow myself to get so far off course?

Losing my positive focus and direction doesn’t happen over night. I get there as an incremental manifestation of my choices over time. It is the The Slight Edge.

When I fall out of my routine, I have a tendency to feel overwhelmed and disconnected. I beat myself up for feeling this way and judge myself for not Being centered. This may sound silly yet those negative critical messages have the power to weave up to choke my daily well being. They eventually demand my undivided attention.

If I am feeling especially vulnerable and stressed out I give in to my need to escape or hide. What I am really running from is my feeling of fear and my need to be certain.

This is an old pattern of mine. I look outside myself for the perfect solution to make me feel better and to “help me cope”. It’s my need for emotional comfort that directs my desperate choice to seek a quick fix. 

Before May 19,1988 I filled my emotional holes by obsessing with alcohol and cocaine. In early sobriety my sponsor once asked me if I wanted a bat to make my regular beatings easier for me. That question along with its’ image has served me many times over the years. It is such a visual cue.

As with any quick fix for a while the drugs appeared to provide immediate relief. Yet the quieting of my punishing thoughts was only temporary.

How do I get to where I can shift the tides of my focus and climb out of the ruts I’ve built for myself?

Well, it takes what it takes! When I am sick and tired of being sick and tired I am ready to make a change. I let go of looking outside of myself for answers. I become willing to believe that I deserve to feel better and be happy. 

I make a decision to take responsibility for myself and the quality of my Life.

The first step to making any change is to become aware and accepting of “what is” in the present. I choose to let go of resisting and judging myself… just for now. 

I remind myself that I am only human and it is our nature to make mistakes. That’s how we learn. I reframe the language I use and recognize the that negative messages I hear ~ are from the past.

When I let go of holding on to what I don’t want, I create a space within me that is open and receptive. In this present moment I am connected with my Highest Self and my inner wisdom.

 And it is here… where I can hear ... my answers to what’s next?

 

Ponder This:

What are you ready to change so you can be free of needing to flog yourself?

Please share your thoughts with us in the comments below.

Fool Me Not

“Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee.
And I’ll forgive Thy great big one on me.”

— Robert Frost

How did April Fool’s Day get established? There are two basic explanations…

One is that April 1st was a celebration of the season’s shift from Winter to Spring. The other was the adoption of a new calendar requested by Pope George VIII to move New Year’s Day from April 1st to January 1st. 

Perhaps our international collective perpetuates the celebration of this day. It supports mischief and playfulness while granting immunity from reprimand by authority.

I remember pulling pranks and tricking others as a kid.  Short sheeting a bed, pushing someones nose to smell the ice cream or relaying a story that was sensationally untrue. These little antics seemed harmless enough… yet now I am not so sure. 

Fool is a word that can be used as both noun and verb. There are 88 other nouns for fool in my Thesaurus. Nitwit, chump, numbskull are just a few. All of them are some variation of derogatory. 

Using the term fool as a verb demonstrates actions taken to deceive, trick, mislead or dupe.  Deluding another, interfering, cheating, pretending, faking and swindling are all fooling activities.  

There’s a memory I have of one kid hurting his back when another pulled his chair away just as he sat down. Or the time when some older kids tricked another into “looking foolish” and how we all laughed at his misery.  Even the kid that was made a fool of laughed.

Nobody really likes to be acknowledged as a person who acts unwisely or is duped.  No one truly enjoys feeling embarrassed or mocked.  These days it seems that the fooling has morphed into a source of harassment or bullying.  

Even the smallest sarcasm used in our every day fooling around can be a form of ridicule or mockery. 

Ultimately in the end the joke is always on us. What we do onto others, we do onto ourselves! 

Today let’s make a decision to bring the fun and playfulness back into our celebration of April Fool’s Day. Let’s agree to be mindful of others feelings and to be conscious of our intention.

Happy April Fool’s Day. 

PONDER THIS:

How could you play an April Fool’s joke that gives someone a loving benefit as a result?

The Art of Acknowledgment

“Nothing builds self-esteem & self-confidence like accomplishment.”

— Thomas Carlyle

Most of us massively produce all day long. We complete multiple tasks & manage to juggle our endless responsibilities. We continuously revise our schedules in an effort to make progress at attaining our goals.  

We’ve become masters on the path of human doing-ness  and cleverly strive to squeeze into each moment ~ our best performance.

It is an intensive exercise of generating more and keeping up the pace.

Yet at the end of the day, despite what we might have accomplished, do any of us really celebrate ourselves for a job well done or a great day lived?

Accomplishment is not enough! For us to experience joy & fulfillment with ourselves and in our lives, we must develop a consistent practice of something else.

We must learn the art of acknowledgment. We must practice giving attention to and deeming value for “whatever it is” that we’ve accomplished. 

Learning to slow down to assess the mini milestones of our lives is about choosing a direction for our focus. Could we recognize & praise ourselves rather than dismiss as unworthy?

Accomplishment alone does not change how we feel about ourselves & our capabilities.  It is what we think & how we feel about our accomplishment that fuels our self esteem. It is this that empowers our trust and confidence to take the next right step.
 

Ponder This:

What are three personal accomplishments you are now willing to acknowledge?

Share your thoughts in the comments below.

Clear the Snow

“In any moment of your Life, you are choosing between Love and something else.”

— Dr. Robert Holden

When we get a good snowfall my husband & I dive right in to shoveling to avoid the pain of procrastination.  We’ve honored our unspoken agreement to immediately remove the snow off our driveway & deck for almost 32 years. 

Last week the 6 inches of snow we were to receive turned out to be 14.

Though my shoveling partner was out of town, my spirits were high as I set out to do my job.

Shoveling is rather therapeutic for me. It is a way of meditation, a simple rhythmic routine. Being physically outside and breathing in fresh crisp air clears my head.

I quickly evaluated my task in the early morning quiet. I had the freedom to choose my own way of tackling this responsibility.  Appropriately dressed & centered in my Breath, I began.  

The quiet air around me echoed the smooth swoosh of my shovel on the pavement.  I consciously walked each scoop over to the side of the drive & flipped it onto the growing pile.  

Some of my first thoughts were of my Mother.  I smiled & felt warm inside as I pictured her out shoveling, her green plaid scarf wrapped tightly around her head & mouth like a muzzle. She was the snow shoveler in our family. 

She taught my sisters & I the fine art of clearing the walks, enjoying the beauty of the snow & creating a sense of accomplishment. 

While focusing on my Mother and those happy memories my shoveling was smooth, consistent, & productive.  I felt a patient pleasure in the progress I was making and in the dance of my own movements.

After a while, I looked up to evaluate what was left to be cleared & immediately felt discouraged at the wall of snow ahead of me. I even began to feel resentful of my husband enjoying himself in Mexico!

Stuck in fueling my thoughts with judgment & resentment, I began to attack the snow & fight with myself. Exhausted, I stopped to catch my breath. 

Seeing the sun peeking through the trees humbled me and the fragrant scent of pine refreshed my attitude.  Reminded of the gifts that surrounded me, I felt grateful for my health & ability to even shovel in the first place.

Physically clearing the snow acted as a metaphor, a reflection of my internal journey. Three hours later I finished my last scoop before steppingback to admire what I had accomplished.  It was a job my Mom would have been proud to see! 

And then I had that special feeling she was with me all along :-)

Ponder This:
When have you stopped to take a breath & clear the snow?

Our Healing Prana

“Your healing and happiness are your gifts to your family, to your friends, and to the world.”

— Robert Holden

During the month of February we are preoccupied with Love. Thinking about it, expressing it, desiring it, perhaps missing it.  February’s holiday, Valentines Day even claims our most popular icon, the Heart.

We often find ourselves giving to others monetary gifts to express the love we feel in our hearts.  It is a time too, where we may acknowledge an opportunity to practice receiving and allowing ourselves & others to bask in the present of presence.  The gift of our time, our talents, our touch, our Being with another are the true treasures of celebrating this month of Love.

What about the gifts we really desire for & from our loved ones? What is everlasting in the treasure we experience when our loved ones are healthy and happy?

As Robert Holden shares, these are the true gifts we have to offer others.

The single most effective tool I have discovered for achieving that place of abundant giving is . .breathing.

There are many methods & practices of breathing embraced by different communities & particular paths of study. We have the Yoga breath, the Pilates breath, the “birth-giving” breath, the breath best used for runners, & the breath of our Spirit that is last to leave our bodies.

I have discovered a specific breathing practice that absolutely re-centers & grounds me to the present moment.  It is the same practiced breathing that opens the conduit from my inner wisdom to my expression in the outer world.  It enables me to identify the negative feelings I’ve been suppressing for years & provides a vessel for these energies to dissipate & escape from my body.  

Those who have worked with me know I call my specific way of mindful and deliberate breathing, Exaggerated Breathing. It has always been my nature to embellish on a good thing.  

It is this same practiced Breathing that relaxes me when activated, gives me pause when agitated, frees me up to recognize my moment of choice.

This way of breathing anchors me to my source, expands my experience of joy, & partners with me to celebrate life.

Exaggerated Breathing

Step 1 ~ Take a long deep inhale through your nose

Step 2 ~ Pause with the awareness of your inhale expanding your body

Step 3 ~ Exhale through your open mouth allowing your body to release

Sometimes one good breath will do it. And if not, repeat as necessary.