WAIT NOT - WANT NOT
In early sobriety I learned how to live Life one day at a time… For me It was a new practice to focus on the present - to direct my attention, to make decisions and to take action based on what was presented to me - in the moment.
This new perspective allowed me to release the old emotional energy that tied me to my past. It freed me from being a prisoner to the things I could not change.
I learned how to rein in my projections of the future. I turned away from the worry and the powerlessness that comes from focusing on the “what if’s”.
Living a day at a time opened me up to a Life experience rich with courage clarity, and confidence. It gave me access to my inner wisdom and internal guidance. I was aware of my oneness and celebrated my connection to others.
Speed forward some 30 years to witness the power of a global pandemic to wipe out Life practices and scatter my focus into oblivion.
As one familiar thing after another dissolved from my reality, I found myself struggling to hold on to my way of Life, my way of thinking.
I started to have holes in my resolve that Life could be trusted.
Perhaps you have had a similar experience?
As the physical connection to those I love unraveled to a thin thread, I felt the sadness that comes from a hollow yearning.
My usual activities stopped beating out the joyful rhythm of my Life. Left in their place I found myself feeling confused and disorientated.
Without my usual benchmarks to ground me, time, motivation, and my sense of well being - seemed to drift into the mundane.
My thoughts and words began to convey a belief in lack. Their focus was on what I miss, what I don’t have, what I can’t have, because of the pandemic.
I can’t wait until we can travel again.
I wish I could spend unrestricted time with my loved ones.
When will it be safe to enjoy live performances?
Teach in-person workshops?
Celebrate and mourn together in community?
What if my grandson doesn’t know my face?
The pandemic’s weed-like tendrils have been incessant in choking off the sunlight of my spirit!
Mary O’Malley’s metaphor for this pandemic experience being “like birth contractions” certainly resonates with me.
Like giving birth:
the inevitable change in how Life looks -grows obvious over time. The experience elicits curiosity and fascination, while simultaneously fear and unrest.
this natural process of change, of creation, moves forward in its’ own way, own time line, and without our control.
we can experience waves of uncertainty, self-doubt, exhausting effort, and excruciating pain.
we lose our old identity and personal paradigm to emerge, expand, and eventually, embrace the new gifts of the present.
For me, the most glorious gift received has been indeed, a new birth!
Amid the uncertainty of this pandemic, our daughter and her husband gifted us with a new grandson, born October 2020.
There is nothing like the miracle of Life to snap us into the present. The past dissolves into nothingness and the future loses its intrigue.
Time floats here….
When I gaze in wonder at this beautiful Life, this blessed creation, the only focus I have is love. My only thoughts are of gratitude and awe. And the only place I choose to be is here, … in this now moment.
PONDER THIS:
What special gifts of the pandemic are you grateful for?
Navigating thru Life, this pandemic and other real challenges, can throw us off balance, make us forget who we are and lose sight of the power within us. You don’t have to make your way alone. Let me be your partner to help you realign with your path, power, and purpose!
Click here to schedule your 30 min consultation.